I Am Just Not Sure?
Last week I had my blood test, to see if I have this JC virus.
All this waiting makes me so unsure as to what I want for the future.
Do I want to be on tysabri?
Why don’t I try the others first?
I have become very good at putting on a front, however there are parts of the day I find myself staring, blankly.
My new tablets for my back are great, they really do work, well that’s if I take them. If I miss one of my three a day I get all edgy and short fused.
They have also has an effect on my mood, I feel down, more tired and a little lost.
Having MS is one of those things no-one can understand until they have it, all the books might say I need to keep going but why can’t I just have a day? A day to rest and a day to not be okay.
Twice last week when someone asked me if I was okay, I said fine then inside my mind was shouting “LIAR LIAR” however no-one wants to hear how you really feel when they ask you that, especially when they don’t really give a shit.
I keep forgetting what I am saying and doing, tonight I even put talc in Pop’s hair when drying her, I completely forgot what I was actually doing.
Talc is surprisingly hard to get out of hair I have to say!
My mind is a mess and I know it.
Only I know it.
Well, now you do I guess?
Putting on a face has made me tired, so I feel an early night might be on the cards.
Note to self, take tablet.
What was I doing?……….