How To Grow The Perfect Penis?

I am going to ruin your day by admitting I have no idea about growing a perfect penis, in-fact I know nothing about growing penises.


No this is about the terror that is teaching our little creatures lovelies about the down below parts, something I always thought would be a thing we did later on, however it seems being little means you need to know everything, always. 

Now in this house we are very open, I try to encourage openness so the girls can feel like they can come to me with whatever, even poo-pants.

So I was thinking the other day, with Pop’s off to school in the very near future, what is acceptable? I mean they are my children, so I will let them use whatever names they feel comfortable with, to some it might not be “the norm”, but we are far from normal, so that’s okay. 

So instead of fluffy names, like foof and tinker, I gave it to her straight, vagina and penis.

I know, I am HIDEOUS!

Anyway, Pop’s didn’t like vagina, she chose to call it a button, which so far has been okay, however I see confusion in the short distance? She also decided penis is fine, although sometimes it can be called a tina.

She is comfortable and although she did freak out when I explained about bum cracks, she was terrified she had a crack and was broken. After I stopped laughing I explained and she kind of gets it. 

With no privacy comes too so many questions, explaining pubic hair and periods I am finding hard, I suggested perhaps not starring at mummy when she is on the toilet, or opening the door when I am having a shower (she has done this to guests whilst peeing, pooing and showering, I must fix the lock)

So here we are comfortable, I will let Beboo call them whatever she is comfortable with and I will always be there to talk to, in hope nothing is embarrassing.

I just hope this isn’t frowned upon in school?

What are your views on penis and vagina talk? Are you fluffy or are you to the point?

Do you shop and plop? 

Maybe I should curb my toilet humour? 


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