Okay so for the last couple of weeks or so,I have been hiding a secret.
I only told Hubby like two days ago, I am just so confused…
I am pregnant.
Had you going there didn’t I?!
My real secret is that I am unsure whether I want to carry on with tysabri. It might not sound like a big deal, however for me it is.
I know I am lucky to have it however I am just not happy. I don’t like going to the hospital every month, I cannot take much more stabbing for cannulas and the frequent blood tests. I hate the fact that UTI’s are a side effect, like my bladder needs any more reasons to be shit. I feel like I am looking down on myself, like I am not in my own body, its weird and unnerving.
I have other options.
I would like to try those other options before I commit to this.
No-one knows the long term effects tysabri has, or if it has a shelf life for patient usage.
Also part of me wonders what the point is. It is not going to make it go away, granted it helps.
I am not yet use to the fact I have this forever, committing to this is confusing and driving me crazy.
I don’t need to be told what I need, I want to make a choice for me, after all its me that is living this.
I am confused and unsure. I am afraid.