Filled With Nothing
My mind if filled with nothing, its blank, empty.
I feel awful, weak, tired and completely drained of any real kind of emotion and energy. My teeth ad jaw ache so much, they always do when I get poorly. I hope it goes away, its such a relentless pain.
Last week was so busy, with Hubbies operation, I had to push that much more. I tried to be there when he needed me, however he didn’t want to listen or rest afterwards, he’s a man, they never listen.
So he is already back at work, not that he was ready, again its the not listening thing.
Yesterday on one of the multiple sclerosis groups, I found out a woman who had MS “checked out” so yeh, she killed herself. She was tired of the pain.
I get that.
Although I don’t know her at all, it made me think, I realised just what kind of a future I am facing. One that is not easy or relaxing.
That poor woman. I hope she can rest easy now, I hope she is now at peace.
Makes you think, will I ever reach that point when enough is enough? Will I ever be so sick of the pain and so tired of the tiredness, I end it all? I really hope not.
I don’t really have much else to say today, other than I am sorry for the lack of humour and content.
I am so tired.
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8 Responses to Filled With Nothing
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I hope that tomorrow is much better for you, I’m really sorry you’re feeling crappy again and also for that poor woman. It’s a scary thing you’re dealing with and you’re doing a great job, just remember that! xx
Em recently posted..My Top 5 Pick Me Ups
Thank you Em. Just scares me, I dont want to be pushed that far, but it happens
Poor lady. Hugs xxx
I hope you feel much much better soon and the ache in your jaw goes away v quickly. Sending you lots of hugs and good wishes xx
Notmyyearoff recently posted..Little Things Little Z Says
Thank you, still going but I am okay xxxxx
I hope things improve. I don’t konw much about MS but it sounds horrible. Accept as much help as you can, that’s all I can say. Sending virtual hugs. xxx
Mum in a Hurry (@mum_in_a_hurry) recently posted..Bad mood head
Thank you. I do try, sometimes you just want to be left alone to try for yourself xxx
I have just reached my 50th – yeh 50th birthday, I have been living with MS for longer than I haven’t and life can be tough sometimes. However, I write a bi-monthly Newsletter for my local MS Society and have just been asked to advertise the muMSuk group to let our readers know that this support group is out there. And so life also has its Blessings too …
May the sweet lady who chose not to carry on any more now be at peace, makes me so sad, 2 friends also found it too difficult to continue. I wish that there was more support, love and care out there for everybody – cos life sure isn’t easy sometimes.
I also write and find writing a great way to offload, so not have to bottle everything up and go crazy. This is just a short message on a page that I coincidently stumbl;ed on – is there any such thing as a coincidence or was it meant to be that I made contact today …
I hope that you can alays look for a reasion to smile – even in the darkest moments, we are here and it’s a life and were living eh …
Stay optimistic guys,
Estelle
That is so lovely! Messages like this is the reason I carry on writing through the bad days. I agree, it can get so hard and it is important to let go, which is also why I write. Thank you again xxxxx