Its Been A While

So I guess its been a while.

Since I really blogged for me that is.

I do still need it and enjoy it, but my life has been consumed by, well, life?

I might be hiding from emails and I could probably give you a million excuses, but thats all they would be. Excuses.

In my defense however I have started my own online magazine. Erisea. Its been a labour of love, something that started with a friendship between me and Erika. We kind of stumbled into this amazing friendship, the kind where you are scarily alike in the whipping your hair back and forth sense. Where you can hug for the first time and it feel like the millionth time.

Those friendships are hard to find.

So we built Erisea, we launched this week and I can safely say I feel like I am drowning and if I hear the word editorial once more today, I might cry. 

Nevertheless, this is just the start.

I hope to refrain from neglecting my blogs. I miss them, I miss my space to let out my feelings.

My more recently feelings are far more humorous as of late. Something I am particularly proud of.

I guess I really am more than a disease.

So, I have work to do, so I am signing out. Please bear with me. I will be back, however do come over to the magazine, would be nice to see you there icon smile Its Been A While

 

Dear Mr Cameron.

Dear Mr Cameron,

It’s been a long time coming, this letter to you.

The voting slips came in the post and I didn’t really know what to do.

Which box should I tick?

Do I close my eyes and just do it quick?

Or do I talk it through and deliberate for a time?

See Mr Cameron the decision is important to me,

My vote counts and I feel its about time you stand up and listen to the people who you just don’t see.

I understand there is no quick fix,

But did you have to pull the most vulnerable into this mix?

See it’s people like me Mr Cameron who are suffering the most.

Because its people like us who are least likely to boast.

A free car, a blue badge and undeserved money?

When in reality that is simply just not funny.

Mr Cameron Sir, have you ever been unable to work?

Have you sobbed so hard at something that does nothing but lurk?

Have you been told there is no cure and slowly your body will break down and fail?

That no matter how hard you try or scream or cry or shout you just can’t cope with something of such a massive scale.

Have you ever been told, Mr Cameron, that they just don’t know why?

Why you are where you are and how you can do nothing but cry.

Cry at the unknown life you and your family will face.

Cry that one day you will be a shell of who you are with your inevitable fall from grace.

Of course Mr Cameron I am talking about the changes to the benefits for the disabled.

The people who are just not physically abled,

To fill in your forms and attend the interviews to prove I am what I say I am.

Are you surprised in the lack of reapplications from the people of whom you don’t give a damn.

The people who struggle to get out of bed,

The people with that monster lurking in their head,

We already struggle to function each and every day

So why Mr Cameron do you make this the way?

Where we exhaust ourselves worrying about that money,

When our lives will forever be far from sunny.

Can’t you help us try and be all we can?

And do it from the moment this all began.

Because Mr Cameron we can’t take anymore.

We need help to survive, to get through the damn door.

So Mr Cameron If you want my vote,

Help the disabled, believe what I wrote.

Put yourself in my shoes and try and understand,

This is not at all what we all had planned.

Make the services and benefits fully accessible,

Because any more of this fight would be reprehensible.

 

We Made An Awesome Easter Egg!

So, in the run up to Easter we have had the chance to take part in a great competition run by HRS, they even sent a fabulous chocolate kit to make our creation truly amazing! I don’t think the girls were expecting anything as thick with quite so many sweets, so they were more than pleasantly surprised by what arrived!

Easter We Made An Awesome Easter Egg!

 

 

 

So firstly we did some brain storming, followed by some rather sneaky eating of the materials. Not in the original plan I can assure you. My sister and Pops decided on a path with some lovely pinks chicks in bonnets, these pink chicks would be taking a walk down the smartie path and everyone around them is obviously watching. She had so much fun stick everything down and using chocolate as glue. Far better than a glue stick. Pops even tried her hand at making a marshmallow tree and a pond using the jazzies. All look very beautiful and very yummy.

egg We Made An Awesome Easter Egg!

 

I think you will agree, the final outcome is amazing!

We had a fabulous time making our own chocolate egg, hope everyone has a fantastic Easter.

The Amitriptyline Hangover

So roll back a few months, I was not sleeping. I was exhausted from even trying to sleep, but just completely unable to switch off.

Once I was asleep I would sleep, it was just the whole getting to sleep part I was struggling with.

I think I ended up using nytol for around 4 weeks, I think given how tired I was, I would have tried anthrax if I thought it would send me off to sleep. 

Knowing what I know about drugs, I knew becoming dependant on said antihistamine was probably not the best option.

So when the time came to see the man in charge of, well, me?  The first thing out of my mouth was “please put me to sleep” I informed him about my longing to nip into the anesthetics suite when I was on my way to my infusions, just for a quick nap. 

He We laughed.

But that didn’t last long because I WAS KNACKERED.

So he gave me Amitriptyline. I knew a little about the drug and he said it would help me drift of into a normal sleep.

THANK GOD.

So although Amitriptyline is not really used for sleep, reports show people who do use it, have a real sleep.

So, the first night I took it. Two hours later I was asleep. 

The whole night, I slept. 

But the next day I had to wake up for some appointment and my did I feel like death. 

I literally felt like I had been dragged through a hedge backwards twice, thrown out of a tree and had someone shouting in my ear ALL NIGHT LONG.

I had been warned about the after effects at the pharmacy. How I would feel if I woke too soon.

I felt like satan had licked my brain. It was vile.

I had an Amitriptyline hangover. The worst kind of hangover ever.

And the only way to get rid of this hangover was to sleep. Sleep was the key.

So thats what I did!

Now, instead of feeling like I had danced with the devil, I wake up feeling like I had a real sleep. Kind of like a normal person does.

I need to make sure I get between 12-14 hours, but thats fine. As long as I can wake up ready to face my version of life, I’m good.

Thank god for modern medicine!

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